Latest News: Fell Down on Dock

Tonight, for the first, but I'm sure not the last time, I fell down on my dock. The good news is I didn't go slip sliding into the harbor, but it was quite the graceful move. It is *very* slippery/frosty in the greater Boston area tonight and I was coming home, went down the ramp, which is metal, and made it okay, but the minute I set foot on the wood, I took a digger straight down on my ass. Like, feet went up, flew for a sec, landed on my ass and my lower back. The good news is I was carrying my laptop on my back, and the semi-cushy laptop bag slightly broke my fall. Luckily this happened a good three feet from the edge of the water, so I didn't fall in. I was then taunted by the friend I was on the phone with, and it has been suggested that I wear a life jacket when walking home going forward. Which I will not do. If I do that, I may as well wear a helmet and shin pads in every day life, as I am accident prone. I have to believe if it is my time to go, its my time to go. 

I am actually rather covered in bruises, which is not unusual for me, being the poised and graceful minx that I am. I walked into the corner of the counter yesterday, and I'm developing a nice hearty black and green and blue and purple mark on my hip. I can also feel one developing on my back from the dock fall. This would not really be an issue if it were not for the fact that an insignificant other is coming to visit me tomorrow and may be curious as to whether or not I'm being beaten. Whatever, if he thinks some other dude is beating me, maybe he'll be jealous. 

So I've done pretty much all a lady can do prior to a visit from a gentleman admirer. I got a wax, I went on a lemonade fast (which I did for 8 days, and then broke, and then had a nice big plate of gnocchi today, thus removing all benefits of said fast), I changed my sheets, I bought new perfume. Basically it goes like this- I'm reasonably young, reasonably thin, I have a job, I'm kinda funny, and I live on a motherfucking boat. If that's not enough, then christ, nothing is. 

Tonight I went christmas shopping and managed to get almost everything I needed in one spot. Granted, maybe they aren't the most thoughtful gifts, but I'm this close to done. I just have to go and pick up a few things for my brother and my cousin, and then its curtains on xmas. ANNND i found the coolest dress ever for my yearly kinda formal christmas eve party. Its fuschia, which is not a color that I generally wear, but it matches my new tattoo, and actually kinda looks good on me. And underneath the see through fuschia part, there are platinum colored sequins. I can't really explain it. I'm surprised I even took it off the rack, but I tried it on and it was rad. Maybe I will post pictures of me in it once I have some. 

So. All I have to do now to prepare is to go to work tomorrow, then go grocery shopping, do a tiny bit of dusting & vacuuming, shave my legs, figure out something to wear, paint my nails, purchase some booze for him, and then go pick up the douchebag at the airport tomorrow night. Its funny cause I haven't let anyone stay with me in about 2 years and now I'm freaking out a bit thinking that I am not going to be able to deal in a cooped up space with another person for more than 3 hours without going batshit crazy. More or less I hate him now and don't want him to come. I'm a woman of many contradictions. 

Blah blah blah blah. I'm done now.