All the Reasons People Drive Me Bananas

1. Other people want to do things that are different than what I want to do, thus making me hate them.

2. Often times people expect "conversation" from me at times when I don't want to talk, or have nothing to talk about. This upsets me

3. Other people assume that I will have fun doing the things that they have fun doing. I do this as well, but it bothers me much more in others than it does in myself. 

4. Some other people have rashes and do too much coke. But that's a more personal issue. 

5. People always try to make me "try" sushi that I have already tried, that I already know I don't fucking like. 

6. People don't thank me sufficiently for the christmas cards I so thoughtfully sent them. Screw those people. 

7. Some people make me go to work even when I don't want to and there is nothing to do. Those people are not aware of the fact that I secretly dream of stabbing them in the eye. Just saying.

Thats pretty much all I can think of right now, but is by no means a comprehensive list. There will be more.

Last night i went out to wellesley and stayed in a nest on the floor of a rec room, and now my back hurts and I'm tired. I just spent about 4 days with one of my favorite people in the world and he's driving me out of my mind. I wish I wasn't such a jerk after being around someone for more than 3 or 4 hours. I don't know why I lose the energy to deal with other people so quickly. I ended up not saying a word all day, and smiling tightly through my irritation (at nothing), and eventually saying "I have to go!!!" and leaving and driving home during a rather large snowstorm. And now I'm alone on the boat again and I am so so so glad. And I just wish I had left before I was in a pissy mood. I also don't much like when people visit from far away, I've discovered. Basically, if someone is around all the time, I'm cool, cause I can just see them from time to time and things are great. When someone comes in from out of town, I feel as though it is my obligation to spend as much time with them as possible...which means that I quickly become an irritated bitch. I don't even know why I'm writing this tonight.

White Winter Shitshow

It is 3.22pm and visibility across the harbor is at 0 and falling. Seriously. Its rough out there. I left the boat around 1.30 to run over to Riccardi to see Tiffany, and it had just started snowing. By the time I left, around 2.30, it was full on almost white out conditions, and it took me a little over a half hour to get home - about 2 miles away. 

Then I tiptoed carefully down the dock all the way to the boat, and have gotten in some comfy shorts and legwarmers and a fantastic sweatshirt that has a dinosaur on it and says "See you next tuesday!!!" and have settled in for 24 hours. 24 hours of being marooned on a boat with my sleeping house guest, who had me up until 7am. I have a feeling that as a result of this visit, he is not going to get on EST, I am going to end up on pacific time. It is midafternoon now- he sleeps on, while I am making tasty raviolis and planning to watch the Riches until I run out of episodes, after which I am going to watch regular tv. And maybe color for a bit. I recently found my soft pastels and I want to do a copse of green trees. And if you know me at all, you know i just felt like using the word copse. So there.

Also, I'm kinda into jellyfish

Like this cool electric looking red one

They are kind of alien and otherworldly and have pretty colors

Quick Tidbit

I asked this dude if he needed anything when I went shopping prior to picking him up. He asked for two zz top albums by name and insisted that he had to have them upon arrival. This is my taste in men, people.

Latest News: Fell Down on Dock

Tonight, for the first, but I'm sure not the last time, I fell down on my dock. The good news is I didn't go slip sliding into the harbor, but it was quite the graceful move. It is *very* slippery/frosty in the greater Boston area tonight and I was coming home, went down the ramp, which is metal, and made it okay, but the minute I set foot on the wood, I took a digger straight down on my ass. Like, feet went up, flew for a sec, landed on my ass and my lower back. The good news is I was carrying my laptop on my back, and the semi-cushy laptop bag slightly broke my fall. Luckily this happened a good three feet from the edge of the water, so I didn't fall in. I was then taunted by the friend I was on the phone with, and it has been suggested that I wear a life jacket when walking home going forward. Which I will not do. If I do that, I may as well wear a helmet and shin pads in every day life, as I am accident prone. I have to believe if it is my time to go, its my time to go. 

I am actually rather covered in bruises, which is not unusual for me, being the poised and graceful minx that I am. I walked into the corner of the counter yesterday, and I'm developing a nice hearty black and green and blue and purple mark on my hip. I can also feel one developing on my back from the dock fall. This would not really be an issue if it were not for the fact that an insignificant other is coming to visit me tomorrow and may be curious as to whether or not I'm being beaten. Whatever, if he thinks some other dude is beating me, maybe he'll be jealous. 

So I've done pretty much all a lady can do prior to a visit from a gentleman admirer. I got a wax, I went on a lemonade fast (which I did for 8 days, and then broke, and then had a nice big plate of gnocchi today, thus removing all benefits of said fast), I changed my sheets, I bought new perfume. Basically it goes like this- I'm reasonably young, reasonably thin, I have a job, I'm kinda funny, and I live on a motherfucking boat. If that's not enough, then christ, nothing is. 

Tonight I went christmas shopping and managed to get almost everything I needed in one spot. Granted, maybe they aren't the most thoughtful gifts, but I'm this close to done. I just have to go and pick up a few things for my brother and my cousin, and then its curtains on xmas. ANNND i found the coolest dress ever for my yearly kinda formal christmas eve party. Its fuschia, which is not a color that I generally wear, but it matches my new tattoo, and actually kinda looks good on me. And underneath the see through fuschia part, there are platinum colored sequins. I can't really explain it. I'm surprised I even took it off the rack, but I tried it on and it was rad. Maybe I will post pictures of me in it once I have some. 

So. All I have to do now to prepare is to go to work tomorrow, then go grocery shopping, do a tiny bit of dusting & vacuuming, shave my legs, figure out something to wear, paint my nails, purchase some booze for him, and then go pick up the douchebag at the airport tomorrow night. Its funny cause I haven't let anyone stay with me in about 2 years and now I'm freaking out a bit thinking that I am not going to be able to deal in a cooped up space with another person for more than 3 hours without going batshit crazy. More or less I hate him now and don't want him to come. I'm a woman of many contradictions. 

Blah blah blah blah. I'm done now. 

Kicking off the Xmas Season

Happy Happy Holidays to all! I found this picture a while ago and assume that it is photoshopped, but seriously, its hysterical either way. Crazy wolf santa!!! 

I'm so behind in shopping its ridiculous. I drove all the way to NH this weekend to shop tax free, and was freaked out by the mall and all the people, bought a set of dragon bookends for my aunt who is all into dragons, and then booked it. I am now on a campaign to make things for people, but fine motor skills + rocking boats = ugly sloppy art projects. I think I'm going to just give out random lap dances for christmas. Its all in the spirit of giving, people. 

In other news, when I came home tonight my boat was locked, and I didn't lock it this morning. So. That leads me to believe that the boatlord was here, without any notice, which is kinda sort of against MA tenancy law, unless there was an emergency. I just want this guy to be slightly normal and on the up and up. But then again, since he consented to renting this boat to me without any references of any kind, and without a credit check, and without a security deposit, I suppose I can't bitch too much. 

I'm thinking of melting some cheese on some triscuits. I'll let you guys know how it goes.

Speaking of food, christ, I love food. I ended my fast today- 8 days straight of nothing but lemonade, seriously. I've had lots of people tell me that my skin is glowing, I lost about 12 pounds, i felt really light and clean and good (until I ate) and I sleep way better than i have in years. That said, it was one of the stupidest ideas I've ever had, it was really really boring and irritating and I hated everyone (and made a point to tell them so, and also elaborate on why) and generally was kind of in a pissy daze for 8 days. I don't think I'll ever do it again. I am happy, based on my stubborn and prideful nature, that I was able to do it at all, and now, been there, done that. Its over. 

My best friend is driving cross country right now and I've asked her to pick me up beef jerky from every state that she visits, and she let me know today that she's grabbed me a few packs already, and is now entering texas (and I assume a myriad of jerky options). I'm so excited. I am going to eat dried lean beef for fucking weeks. You watch me. 

Bad Indie Movies That I'm In, Part 1

This will actually only be a one part series, as I am only in one bad indie movie.

Its a short film, you can watch it here http://tinyurl.com/5omga2 

Feel free to ignore part one, which I'm not in. It doesn't really lend anything to the plot anyway. There isn't so much a "plot" as it were. 

Bitch I'm paid, that's all I gotta say.